she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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