I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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