if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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