you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
