did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
