I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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