im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
No subtext here. People are naked.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
