she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
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