thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
