Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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