On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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