So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
