I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
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