Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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