Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
