they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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