Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
