i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
