a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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