So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
