I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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