I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
