That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
