Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
