she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
