Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
