How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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