I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
