just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
