i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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