I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
