If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
