you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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