For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
