Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
