I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
