There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
