reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
