I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
