Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
