There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize