I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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