R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
