Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
