At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
