YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
