Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
