She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
