but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
