he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
