i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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